Random Points Eastward

So as you know, I'm headed due east- for the first time in a year actually (has it been that long since I've been in California? Jesus*)- I'm in Las Vegas right now, as I write this post, burning two and a half hours before I board my five hour hop to Pittsburgh. Annoying developments so far:

• I got an exit row seat, but NONE of the benefits of exit rowishness. Seriously I feel gypped. When the hell did the world change? Why was I not made aware of the following changes:

• Exit row seats don't recline- At least not on this Airbus (such a creative name). My seat didn't recline at all. At first I thought my seat was broken, but then I realized this is a new 'safety feature'. If this is only a 'feature' of Airbusi (is that the plural?), I shall begin an Airbus boycott. Seriously, what's the point of vying for the exit row if you're ultimately no more comfortable than the rest of the schlubs in coach?
• Exit row seats don't board with first class (anymore)- this reeeeally pissed me off. One of the key advantages to scoring an exit row is that you get board before the rest of the idiots. You are ensured overhead luggage space. It's essentially all the benefits of First Class without the cost i.e. more bang for your bitchass buck.
  

• Cans are LOUD- so the genius flight attendant parks the cabin trolley right next to my seat, as he served our area. The way the trolley was parked, my ear was about 10 inches away from where genius was opening cans of assorted, refreshing, beverages. Ever open a can near your ear? They are fucking loud. As in the ensuing 90 minute hop from SF to Vegas, I got ZERO rest, why? Well maybe because this happened like 67 times:

"What would you like?"
"Diet Coke, please"
....zkkkxxxxxxzzzzzzzzzzzzkt, POP!...
" Thank you"
Rinse. Repeat. Again. And again. And again.

• Loud people are really annoying: There's a troupe of Indian families, at my exit gate. Now I'm sure you're going to roll your eyes and think I'm being a self-hating native, however such is not the case. I'd make this point if it was a family troupe of any nationality, race, color, or creed. I am an equal opportunity critic :) Anyways, I digress, my point was I hate loud people. Why can't people be more sophisticated? Or just better mannered? Is it really that important to treat the f9cking boarding gate like your living room? Is it imperative to start a card game? Is removing your shoes really necessary? Do you have to take off your socks as well? Is it quite imperative to talk to each other really LOUD? Must the kids ride the luggage cart around the aisles? Can't the dude sitting on the floor, with his back to me, playing cards, pull his pant up just a little bit? Must we all witness the ass crack + bumfluff*? Is that really necessary?

Final observations- I hate Vegas. Perhaps it was cool and suave at one time, but that was a different era, that was the time when Dean and Frank hung out at The Sands, it was completely a different era. Now, Vegas is just manufactured fun for the masses. I find it plastic, synthetic, and artificial. More on why I hate Vegas later.

* I have a habit of saying Jesus, Jesus Christ et al. I don't have any particular affection for Jesus, nor do I have anything against him. I just say it quite often, I've noticed. Jesus <--see
**Goose, gay joke 'opening' :)