Pack Rat

A recent conversation made think about the pack-rat phenomenon. I think transient people are more likely to exhibit this behavior, especially global nomads. My belief is that it helps us maintain some continuity, structure, and most importantly balance, in our constantly changing lives. When every few years you pick up and move, you adjust to:

- a new city
- a new neighborhood
- new school
- new friends
- new lifestyle

...well you get the idea. There are very few constants in life, and I think global nomads have a tendency to 'hold on' to snapshots of their existence. The biggest challenge for me was letting go of friends. I, as a Scorpio, am a study in contrasts i.e. it's all or nothing. When I do engage, in a friendship, or even a relationship, it has the benefit of the full brunt of my intensity in terms of love, fun, dedication, and loyalty (for better or for worse). Alternatively when I tune out, you won't even get a pulse- I'm aloof, indifferent, and generally apathetic. Anyways getting back to friends, over years I learnt that if I was going to make friends, as the new kid in school, the onus was on me to be out-going and engaging. So my inherent shyness (believe it or not, that's what I'm really like) went out the door and sure enough KH had a lot of friends. Lots and lots of friends. Across all cliques. I was Everyman. In my life, I've found that I associate a certain period of time with the people I met along the way. Now let me state this very clearly- around the world, there are very very few truly cool people. When you find them, hang on to them. So that's what I did- I collect friends (and books).

Over the years as I've moved, I've done a fairly credible job of keeping in touch. The internet has helped- however one innocent bystander that fell victim to instant communication is letter writing. That genuinely saddens me. I used to write these incredibly long, detailed letters, in a way I miss letter writing- a lost art form- it somehow showed greater care, thought, and dedication.

Other aspects of my pack-rat behavior:

- collecting books (I sign and date each one- add which city I purchased it)
- taking pictures- tons of albums and negatives in a box (yes I always 'the guy with the camera')
- keeping momentos (signed sickbags from school trips, yearbooks, the embossed towel from the hotel vergina in Thessaloniki circa 1993- a legendary trip @ ASK)
- keeping letters/cards

I keep all these things and yet I never look at them. It somehow makes me sad, thinking about times past. Yet by having them, in some way, reminds me of who I am and defines where I've been. I am sometimes tempted to get rid of these things, yet I've always hesitated to go through with it. It seems like I would be erasing my past- where I've been, what I've seen, and who I met. Without them all I have left are fading memories.