How to throw a wicked party

Since I've already shared my secret re: Gordon Ramsey Scrambled Eggs, let further refine your skills by teaching you how to throw a great party. A successful party is like mixing a salad: you need the right amount of core materials, mixed to a specific consistency to achieve success. Taking the analogy to the next level:

Lettuce = Girls. Lots of girls. Nobody wants to go a party with tons of guys (sausagefest anyone?). Ideally the girl to guy ratio is 3:1. 2:1 is acceptable but not optimal.

Salad Dressing = icebreaker or mixers. These are people who are not reluctant to talk to absolutely random people. They expand beyond their niche and see no harm in going and introducing themselves. I, often, have served this role at parties I attend.

Tomatoes + Chicken= ideally you invite people who will likely get along. More importantly its a preferred dynamic if everyone does not know each other- you leave opportunities for making new connections and general discovery.

Spicy peppers= these are individuals who can be the center of attention for brief periods of time. They do not seek to 'star' or hog all the attention, however a well paced, preferably funny story is something everyone enjoys.

Drinks= if you don't drink, that doesn't mean it's wrong for others to partake. Have a clean and well stocked bar. Once the booze runs out so does the energy from your party. Also encourage your cadre of friends to bring extra booze, it always comes in handy...you know keep all merry let the good times roll etc. If someone volunteers to play bartender, let them have at it!

Music= if very important, but most importantly it HAS to be background. Do not let it overpower the party. If people want to get up and dance, let them have fun. Don't let it become a situation where you have 2 people dancing, with blaring music, and the rest are sitting on the sidelines. I personally believe the volume of the music should not overpower the ability to make conversation.

Food= I'm not a big fan of serving chips, dips, and miscellaneous crap. I think a cheese plate should suffice. It's a party, not dinner at Buckingham Palace.

The Responsibilities of a Great Host

Your duty, as a host, is to ensure everyone is comfortable and having a good time:

1. Mingle- make sure you're not stuck with any one group/person for an extended period of time. Its your duty as host to introduce people, make charming small talk, and make sure everyone is generally comfortable (I'm a great host)
2. Clean- unfortunately it's imperative to keep things orderly to maintain the right dynamic. If you see glasses piling up, move them to the sink, or throw them out. Clean out ashtrays. Just holistically helps keep everyone happy and comfortable albeit surreptitiously
   
3. Temperature- make sure it doesn't get too hot or too cold. Open a window or crank up the AC. Generally I find its better for the environment to be cooler vs. sweating and hot
4. Regulate- make sure nobody is getting rowdy, rude, or obnoxious (alcohol unfortunately has that effect on people). This also means keeping an ear tuned to politically sensitive topics which may be offensive; gently nudge the conversation to safer waters.

Note on 'extra-curricular activities'- I believe in live and let live. If someone wants to shove coke up their nose go for it, or smoke angel-dust, or drop ecstasy, or smoke a spliff, have sex etc. I, however, will not tolerate any of the above when imposed on other people and ruins the party vibe. Go do it in the bathroom, outside etc. I don't want to know about it or see it. Also as a host never ever ever become too impaired to carry out your basic duties. That means lay off the champagne and don't pass out. I typically just sip Perrier, smile and nod :)

A note on safety- if someone passes out, get them home, in a cab, with a friend. Alternatively let them crash in a bedroom with a bucket nearby- this is a messier and often disastrous choice- my recommendation is just get them out.

A note on bringing friends- I was notorious for bring extra friends to parties that I was invited to. I always took permission from the host, and I always always showed up with cute girls. That's not to say I was Hugh Hefner- it's just that I knew the currency I was trading in. As a result I was never told 'No' and was invited to more parties- it's the circle of life. Tell your friends clearly, "# of girls > # of guys".

How do you know you threw a good party? Well, for one, it won't end till the wee hours of the morning. Two, people will tell you! They had a great time. Everything was perfect! So follow these rules and you my friend will be known for your awesome parties. Cheers :)