Hotel Seduction

No, as the title implies this post isn't about clandestine trysts made incognito in hotel rooms. Rather it's a simple tactic to help working class stiffs (like yourself) get a taste of the high life.

I love staying in hotels- by hotels I mean nice hotels. I enjoy the entire experience, and believe that in certain things in life, the luxury is worth the premium charged. Early on in my career, I had the same tastes and motivation but a rather slim, and non-compliant, wallet. However I still managed to get great suites, at great hotels. How? Well it's simple, you have to remember a few simple rules:

1. Maintain good energy- smile- and be confident
2. Remember the working class stiff behind the counter probably can't afford a hotel room
3. Be memorable

Walk up to the counter, and the following standard exchange takes place:

- Hello, how may I help you?
- Hi, I'm checking in
- Okay, last name please...let me check your reservation
- (Provide last name)
- Alright Mr/Ms. F8ckface I see you have single, standard, bitchass room for x nights

At this point you can hand over your credit card and go to your pathetic room. OR you say the following:

- Yeah this is my first time staying here, and I just want you to know, if you want to upgrade me to the luxury suite, I'm totally okay with that.

Remember the front desk drone does this 50 times a day, for 12 hours, every day, 6 days a week, nobody veers from the standard interaction. What you have just done is provide, what's known as, a pattern interrupt, at this point the front desk mate will probably smile and say:

- Hmm, well let me see what I can do...

At this point, they will probably upgrade you in some way, shape or form. Alternatively if they say:

- Well I can give you a queen luxury suite for an additional $145 a night?

They are just testing your mettle- at this point most people (like yourself) would sheepishly look down and just 'settle' for their lame ass room. You have to Double Down and appeal to their ego, their sense of power, and pride:

- "Jose (look at their name tag) you're the man over here, you're running things, you can do it and nobody would say anything, so hook me up."

The guy is a working class stiff, what does he have to lose? Most hotels run half empty on average anyways. Nobody is staying in the super nice rooms, they are typically too expensive. Jose at this point, will most likely hook you up.

In the past typically I would get upgraded 9 out of 10 times (now that I'm somewhat successful I can just book a nice suite!). The 'best' upgrade I got was from a standard bitchass room to the executive luxury floor that was accessed by swiping a special pass key in the elevator. Believe me, it was REALLY REALLY NICE. So have fun, and happy upgrades!