Gucci Mullahs

Hague is an old comrade. He lives in London, but is visiting Lahore for a wedding:

KAL EL
DID YOU SEE
TRANSFORMERS YET
GO SEE IT IN LAHORE
IN PUNJABI

HAGUE
lol
god
dude
fucking pakstan is INSANE now
MONEY MULLAHS AND MASTURBATION

KAL EL
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
awesome
everyone has lost their mind

HAGUE
its totally fukking insane
the mullahs are the new rapstars
fucking nuvo riche fatcats are walking around in 10k suits
that dont fit them

KAL EL
nice!

HAGUE
wearing gucci sunglasses to dinners

KAL EL
ARE YOU SERIOUS
LOL
w the gaudy gold shit on the sides

HAGUE
u walk outside and theres fucking five new mosques on every corner
totally dude
its fucking insane
there are "bars" everywhere
its a total setup for HELLO MR AYATOLLAH
I ARE WANT YOU REVOLUTION NOW PLEASE
dude there is SO gonna be a revolution here
its fucked

KAL EL
MORALITY POLICE style
see dude
the mullahs want the same thing
i.e. whoring and guccis

HAGUE
and the fucking WOMEN
JESUS KURISTE
THEY ARE SO FUCKING HOT
it makes my eyes bleed

KAL EL
the mullahs think
if that nuvo riche fucker can wear the guccis
and pimp, why can't we?

HAGUE
exactly dude
its all because the women are hot

KAL EL
NICE
dude how hot?
like adriana lima shufuni style hot?

HAGUE
dude
they are so hot
way past that
they are the fucking hottest
jesus
its incredible
i thik only tehran could beat lahore for hotness of women

KAL EL
I am hello you are the tehrana

HAGUE
fucking jacked up in their six inch stilettos
wearing their fucking low cut TITKAMEEZES
its fucking AWESOME

KAL EL
dude
did you hang out w the FAT UNCLES yet

HAGUE
yh dude
they are DEPRESSED
except the GUCCIUNCLES

KAL EL
the new money dude

HAGUE
the GUCCIUNCLES are fuckng HIGH
on COKE all the time

KAL EL
see dude the GUCCIUNCLES finally got all the chicks
they figured out the secret

HAGUE
the NORMAL UNCLES
are fucking DEPRESSED
they know between GUCCIUNCLES and TEHRAN MULLAHSTYLE
THEYRE FUCKED

KAL EL
dude
the normal uncles CAN'T COMPETE
they are OBSOLETE

HAGUE
dude
theyre totally obsolete
now its a fucking DIVERGENCE either u win by being a FATCAT ASSLICKER GUCCIUNCLE or by being a HOMO MULLAH
theres no middle ground

HAGUE
and once the divergence is COMPLETE
the WAR WILL BE ON

KAL EL
they will COnVERGE
into the FUCKING
GUCCIUNCLEMULLAH

HAGUE
hahahahahahaahhahahaha, totally!

KAL EL
he'll be like fucking VOLTRON

HAGUE
no dude
my prediction is
seriously
the gucciuncles will leave to their fucking belgravia townhouses
and the mullahs will launch a serious revlution
i have been COUNTING MOSQUES
the bastards have already won
its just a matter of time now
there are too many fundamentalists around
its all over
WELCOME TO TEHRANA

KAL EL
dude
see
the mullahs are like
WAIT A MINUTE
how did the GUCCIUNCLES manage the POACH
so basically they are going to POACH THE POACHERS

HAGUE
dude
EXACTLY
tsee the GUCCIUNCLES pulled the fucking STEALTH POACH
the STEALTHANUSPOACH
the fucking ASSMULLAHS
are gonna pull the ANUSRAPEPOACH

KAL EL
it's going to be like
GUCCIMULLAHTRON