Uncertainty
I had a really interesting conversation today with a partner at work. She is young, ambitious, funny, charming, brilliant, and incredibly conversant. She is also single. And somewhat cynical. In another life, if we didn't work together, I would date her in a heartbeat.
Our conversation was centered around how San Francisco was just rated by Forbes as the #1 city for single people. She scoffed. She generally feels disappointed by men, in that most guys 'don't step up to the plate.' And to be perfectly honest, I do agree with her to a certain extent.
Look, I can't speak for all men, however my perspective is that most girls my age are looking to nest. They see a good thing, and want to know 'what happens next?'. They want certainty in life. My take is, spend time with people who make you happy. Stop trying to plan your life, and just have fun. I'm not someone who will give you certainty: I won't call every day, spend every weekend together, or fawn over you. Why? Well mainly because I don't care enough to invest that sort of effort, and I find needy people terribly annoying. I also don't like misleading people.
Unfortunately that's not enough for most women, they need to know that 'this' will lead to something more permanent. For someone who has eternally lacked permanence in almost every aspect of life, that is just not a possibility, it's a sure impossibility. My problem is that I hate giving good people bad news; the bad news here is that Kal is not ready to settle down, not just yet. Sure I'm sure you may think, wait till he meets 'the one'. Ha! You need to wake up and smell reality friend. Life for me revolves around climbing the mountain. Sad, but true.
Our conversation was centered around how San Francisco was just rated by Forbes as the #1 city for single people. She scoffed. She generally feels disappointed by men, in that most guys 'don't step up to the plate.' And to be perfectly honest, I do agree with her to a certain extent.
Look, I can't speak for all men, however my perspective is that most girls my age are looking to nest. They see a good thing, and want to know 'what happens next?'. They want certainty in life. My take is, spend time with people who make you happy. Stop trying to plan your life, and just have fun. I'm not someone who will give you certainty: I won't call every day, spend every weekend together, or fawn over you. Why? Well mainly because I don't care enough to invest that sort of effort, and I find needy people terribly annoying. I also don't like misleading people.
Unfortunately that's not enough for most women, they need to know that 'this' will lead to something more permanent. For someone who has eternally lacked permanence in almost every aspect of life, that is just not a possibility, it's a sure impossibility. My problem is that I hate giving good people bad news; the bad news here is that Kal is not ready to settle down, not just yet. Sure I'm sure you may think, wait till he meets 'the one'. Ha! You need to wake up and smell reality friend. Life for me revolves around climbing the mountain. Sad, but true.
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