Ramble On

I hate losing friends. Even more than most people. I believe it's a natural reaction to my childhood, where I constantly had to move, again and again, and constantly lost friends along the way.

Three months ago, one of my closest friends at work decided to take a sabbatical. I've mentioned before that the consulting life is high pace- there's a lot of wear and tear, and sometimes people burn out. Well she did, and decided it was time to for some soul searching and recuperation. So she was off to the Far East, for hiking, yoga, partying, and lazy days spent reading.

Today she returned, and I was so happy. Why are we such good friends? Well partly because we were staffed on the Project-from-Hell and fought together in the trenches- late nights at the office, working hard, and keeping a sense of humor are great elements for bonding. The other part of it is that she's TCK, somehow us international kids tend to gravitate towards one another, yes? Finally, a small part of it is that I think she's cute, and she thinks I'm funny (and impeccably dressed, of course haha). I know what you're thinking but office romances are a recipe for disaster. I never pursued it, and she, now, has a boyfriend. Yes, your Kal might have the worst timing in the world :)

Well I got a call tonight from her, we were catching up but I sensed something ominous. Well, the news is such- she's seriously considering a job offer and might be leaving. Sigh. It shouldn't affect me so much, and by tomorrow morning I'll have managed to bury it deep in my heart of darkness. But right now I feel a bit lost.

In retrospect, I realize why I'm in such a hurry. Since Bella, I am so much more reserved and cautious. I don't allow myself to form new deep bonds of friendship. Why? Because losing friends is painful. Losing loved ones even more so. So, I don't live. I just exist.