My Most Prized Possession

In 1967 my father bought an Omega Constellation in Geneva. It's mine now, and I cherish it. The watch epitomizes my father- his class, his style, and his sense of being. Asides from being an absolutely beautiful watch, I recently realized why I love it with all my heart- its not so much the watch that I love, it's the man it symbolizes, my Pa.

I, like many other punks, had a very contentious relationship with my father for, well, most of my life. Actually let me take a step back- I actually didn't have a relationship, as such, with Pa for the longest time. My father was too quiet, aloof, and intimidating. I knew innately that he loved us dearly but it wasn't typical of his generation to be vocal or outward in his affection. That's just the way it was. Due to the age difference between my parents (15 years- very unusual now, but not as significant in 1973), we were naturally closer to Ma. Now growing up in the States till the age of 9, I envied the other kids who played catch with their Dads, or went to baseball games, or just spent time together. There was never that dynamic with my father and I, like a fool, mistook his silence for indifference.

My father is a self-made man, and it was after he saw how hard I worked to make it on my own, did I earn his respect. It also took me reaching out and making an effort to include him in my life, slowly, over a period of five years. I realize now that all along he wanted to reach out and be part of my life, but just didn't know how. Recently, when I was visiting the folks, Pa had a medical situation. The preliminary signs pointed to pancreatic cancer- a highly aggressive cancer with less than a 10% chance of survival beyond 12 months. I was the first one to find out, and that first night I didn't know how to begin explaining this to Ma and Pa. That night, I thought about life without Pa. I wept. I wept for all the years and time that was lost without telling him how much he meant to me. I thought to myself, there was so much that I wanted to talk to him about, to learn about his life, from his experiences, and that I needed his advice. I wanted to discuss and laugh about politics, tennis, and how women make no sense (!). More than anything I wanted to, finally, just be with him. He wasn't alone now, that I was by his side. And now, that would never happen.

Well, I was lucky. Pa was misdiagnosed, there was no cancer, pancreatic or otherwise. Perhaps it was God's rather blunt way of making me recognize the value of this great man and the time we have left together. I am grateful for the chance to right all the wrongs of the past. Listen to me, carefully: Take advantage of this opportunity and make your peace with your father. Reach out to him and over time you will get through. Most importantly, at this point in his life, don't alienate your Pa, respect his wishes. While they may not seem right now, in time you will understand the wisdom of his ways. Remember, you can live with a broken heart, but regret will bleed you empty.